Happy 1st Birthday, Rebecca

Last Saturday my baby turned one. Here is my beautiful daughter one year ago.

And here she was on her birthday.

This year just went by so fast, there have been a few times that I just wanted to yell "STOP" so that time would freeze so I could savor and remember each and every hour of the day. I couldn't and her birthday was here before I knew it.

Rebecca started walking a few days before her birthday. Now she tries to walk first and if that doesn't work then she will crawl. We also realized that she understands more than we thought she did.

We went to the Fair Parade in the morning. She enjoyed watching all the people and animals. It was during nap time and she wouldn't sleep during the parade, but as we packed up to head for the car she crashed in Grandma's arms. We relaxed at home in the afternoon and then had Grandma and Papa (who came from central California) and Grandma Barb and Papa Al over for dinner. Walter BBQ'd and we enjoyed and nice meal. Becca enjoyed having all the attention focused on her. Benjamin helped her open her presents. She got her own pink princess "thinking chair" and a baby. She loved her baby and hugged it as soon as she opened it. She also started burping it. She was so cute sitting in her chair with her baby. If Ben got close to either she let him know that he needed to get away by yelling at him and swatting at him.

She doesn't say very many words. But like I said earlier she knows more than we think. We can ask her to get her baby and she will look for it and go get it. She is using a few signs, although what I thought was her sign for "milk" is really her sign for anything that she wants to eat or drink.

She is eating everything now and after this last can of formula will be totally on people food. She only has about 3 bottles a day, first thing in the morning, after nap and before bed. We will start weaning her off those when we are done with formula.

At her 1 year check up she weighed 20 lbs exactly and is 27 1/2 inches tall. She is on the short side and is in the 30th percentile for both weight and height. She's just perfect!

Becca - What a year we have had. Daddy, Ben and I are so blessed that you are in our family. You brighten up all of our lives. My favorite sound is you and Ben laughing. He makes you laugh like no other can. Even though you fight over the chairs or because you think you need what Ben has, you are really good friends with each other. Ben is the first person you look for when you get up in the morning. I can't wait to see what this second year of your life has in store for us, but with your beautiful smile and joyous laughter I'm sure we will all have fun in the process. You are my joy and I love you more than I can say! Love, Momma

In My Daughter's Eyes

In my daughter's eyes I am a hero

I am strong and wise and I know no fear

But the truth is plain to see

She was sent to rescue me

I see who I wanna be

In my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal

Darkness turns to light and the

world is at peace

This miracle God gave to me

gives me strength when I am weak

I find reason to believe

In my daughter's eyes

And when she wraps her hand

around my finger

Oh it puts a smile in my heart

Everything becomes a little clearer

I realize what life is all about

It's hangin' on when your heart

has had enough

It's giving more when you feel like giving up

I've seen the light

It's in my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes I can see the future

A reflection of who I am and what will be

Though she'll grow and someday leave

Maybe raise a family

When I'm gone I hope you see how happy

she made me

For I'll be there

In my daughter's eyes

It hasn't been until lately that this song has taken on a new meaning in my life. When I first heard it a few years ago I thought it was a beautiful song and had a nice message. Now looking at my daughter who will be celebrating her first birthday in a little over a week, it's taken on a whole new meaning.

I never have thought I was pretty or beautiful, I've always been overweight and so never thought I measured up in the looks department. The other day after Beccca's bath I was holding her up to the mirror and it was her beautiful face and mine, I realized how much she is starting to look like me and I realized at that moment, if she is beautiful, then I too must be beautiful.

Last year when I had Rebecca I remember how I kept saying "I love you" to her in the hospital. Here is the bad mommy moment - I really didn't, I thought if I kept saying it over and over then maybe that "to die for love" that I had with Benjamin would kick in and I would have that over powering feeling again. It honestly wasn't until she was about 2 or 3 months old that I finally felt that. I remember the guilt and how I was ashamed to admit that to anyone. But around that 2 or 3 month mark she wiggled her way into my heart with those beautiful blue eyes, joyous laugh and with the help of the Lord, making me realize that He gave me this daughter to learn things about myself. He didn't give me the wrong child, he gave me the child I needed to learn the most about myself.

When I see her strong will in action or her fierce determination or the way she cuddles into her father, I see glimpses of myself, some things I don't always like (fighting until she gets her way - do I do that? hmmmmm..... Unfortunately yes). But at those moments it is when I pray for the Lord's refinement in my life to get rid of those things.

She is going to learn to be a woman from me, what kind of woman will she be? It's the woman that she sees through her eyes and that causes me to keep looking into those eyes to find the woman that I am so that I can refine those things that will help her be the best she can.

My prayer is that just like the last part of the song "When I'm gone I hope you see how happy she made me For I'll be there In my daughter's eyes", she will see how much I loved her and how happy she has made me - joy, love, pride and most of all a contentment are all things she has brought into my life.

Birthday Party Fun

What a fun birthday party we had for Ben yesterday. We had so many people come and enjoy the evening with us. We had a dinner of spaghetti, Caesar salad, bread and watermelon. Everyone enjoyed visiting while the kids played in the yard and on the swing set. Before dinner we played "Pin the Flag on Mailbox" and the kids seemed to enjoy that. Walter also did another game with the kids while I was finishing up dinner. Everyone spoiled Ben with gifts and he enjoyed going around and giving hugs and thanking everyone. In the next day or so I need to write thank you notes.

Here is a list to help me remember.
Kristin and abbey - Lego police and rescue station
Jackson, Michele & Kids - Superman color book and markers
Grandma and Papa - Blue Reebok short outfit (Ben says his soccer outfit), Brown shorts and shirt, Blue shorts and shirt, Jeff Gordon shirt, CARS book, Lightning, Mater, and 2 boxes of Mac 'n Cheese
Grandma Barb and Papa Al - Shorts and button down "church" shirt, Silly Songs with Larry CD
Tony, Kelsi and Hannah - Air Rocket
Bob, Jen, Miles and Olivia - Water Guns and Joseph DVD
Rose & Kids - "Ants in Pants" Game
Jon, Tami, Colton, Rylee and Avery - $$$$
Lydia, Bill, Grace and Hannah - Blow up bed
Daddy, Mommy & Becca - Soccer ball, shorts, shoes & socks, Boom Box, Worship CD.

And today is my birthday. Just like every birthday since Ben's birth, it is spent recouping from Ben's birthday. There is no other way I want to spend this day!

Happy 4th Birthday Ben

Today my Benjamin turned four years old. It seems like just yesterday we brought him home from the hospital and were celebrating each milestone of his first year. Now we are getting to know the boy that baby once was.

Ben is a wonderful, sensitive boy. He still wants to cuddle each morning. I have to remind myself that NOTHING is more important than sharing that time with him because soon he will not want to. He loves his sister and although she's starting to bug him a little bit more and they are starting to have little "tiffs" every now and then. Usually it's because Becca has found something of his and is playing with it. Those moments happen several times a day it seems but they are always intermixed with moments when I hear both of them giggling in the other room. When I ask what is going on I hear "I'm making Becca laugh". Oh what a good big brother.

Benjamin - Momma still sees that little baby that I remember stealing my heart 4 years ago. You will always be the person who made me a mom - who gave me the job that I always wanted. Although there are times when you frustrate me and we have a battle of wills, there is no other thing that I want to be - I love being Ben and Becca's mom. I can't wait for you to start soccer this fall. You told Papa today on the phone that you are going to run down the field and score a point. I'm sure you will do it with your whole heart!

One of my favorite things that you just started doing is singing praise songs. Your favorite song right now is the new Matt Redman "Never Let Go". As you sing the chorus to the song it is my prayer that you will come to understand how true that song is. God will never let you go son, through the calm and through the storm - he is there. In every high and every low that you will experience in life he is there holding on - never letting you go. As I hear you singing songs that you listen to while the radio is playing, I will ask you who the songs are talking about. You will tell me - "Jesus". It makes me realize that your dad and I are doing a good job. We are teaching you what matters most.

I want you to know how proud your daddy and I are of you. You are very well behaved and enjoy life to it's fullest. I can't wait to see what this next year of life will bring our way, but I can rest assured that no matter what it is you will face it with a zest for life. With you here we will laugh and enjoy whatever may come to us.

I love you, oh child of my heart,
Momma