Senseless and Tragic

This last week our town lost three teenagers all on the same day. One girl lost her life to a six month battle with leukemia, she was sixteen. The other two deaths were because of a drug overdose, the boys were a sophomore and the other a senior in high school. Because of God allowing us (mainly Walter) to do Jr high ministry at church, we knew the girl and we knew the brother of one of the boys. It hits close to home but maybe, just maybe we made a impact in their lives.

My memory of the young lady, Zara, will be her gentle spirit. She was physically beautiful, but more than anything there was away about her that was gentle and sweet. She first came with us to winter camp. I don't think Ben was a year yet. She asked to hold him and she was so gentle and he enjoyed playing with her. She always had a smile and I remember even then saying that I want to have a daughter who has the kind of character that I saw in Zara.

I don't know the two young men. My heart goes out to their mothers. What a senseless way to loose a child. It makes me want to hug my children all that much closer.

This whole thing has made me rethink our involvement in youth ministry. Maybe, just maybe, we are making a difference in some of these kids lives. It a hard ministry, you never really know if you are making a difference. Are kids there because they want to learn about God or is it because they want to have fun. The balance of doing both is a delicate one. The conclusion I came to is that we need to continue - we have a message that the world needs to hear and God has given Walter the passion and desire to serve. Maybe I need to get out of his way more and let him do that.

The other conclusion I came to is that I will love my own children as long as they are God's gift to me. I will hug them tighter and play with them more, so that if the Lord chooses to take them or me before I'm ready to have that happen, we will have sweet, sweet memories to hold on to.

YES AND NO

Becca isn't a big talker, she grunts, whines, signs if we make her and nods her head to questions. Now if she were our first child we would of course be very worried about her and wonder if there is something wrong because she's not talking. But she's very similar to Ben, except she whines A LOT more.

Today was one of those afternoons when she got up from her nap crabby. She only wanted to sit on her daddy's lap and grunted at Ben or I if we got to close to them. As we are watching a movie on TV there is a commercial with a mom and pre-teen/teenage daughter arguing. I look at Becca and asked "Are you and mommy going to argue like that?" and she nods "yes". We chuckle. I ask her if she's going to argue with her daddy and she nods "no". I know she didn't really know what she was "saying" but knowing that it is close to the truth makes it funny.

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In other news, I've went back to work. I'm working for a local CPA firm here in town doing bookkeeping. I love it because of the flexible hours. The kids are going to daycare and Ben's learning so much from Deb's new preschool program. Becca's learning that the world doesn't revolve around her and that not everyone gives into her when she whines. It's nice knowing that my kids are together and that I pick them up after lunch and bring them home and have them take a nap at home.

The best part of me working again is that I again have an outlet. Instead of watching the latest on Fox news or getting into people's business that I have no business getting into. My depression has improved. You know the saying "A happy momma makes a happy family" and that definitely where we are at right now.